yeah... about that...

i think sarah said it best.  i internalize things!  i'm workin on it, i swear! 

daycare is a hard job.  i read something once in advice for parents of children that are in daycare.  its here: http://www.haccpn.org/page.php?content=parents .  It basically says "have you hugged your caregiver today?"  it talks about a few things, but some are the most obvious.  pay on time, be appreciative, understand that they just might love your child almost as much as you do.  the entire section is great for anyone to read if they have children in daycare or if they're a daycare provider. 

anyway, back to me.  (since this is my blog)  i lost my first daycare baby.  no, she didnt pass away.  i've been watching emma since julyish when i first started this business, and i'll admit that i love her almost as much as i love addy.  i loved watching her grow and change, say new words.  i loved everything about her, everything that she was like addy and i appreciated everything that wasnt like addy.  i loved that she was still a little dependent and would bring her frustrations to me rather than throw herself on the floor (like addy).  i loved that she would still snuggle at nap time and that she still thought it was funny when i honked her nose!  anyway, her momma works at a daycare.  i always wondered why she didnt go there, but loved that her mom picked me.  as it turns out she was on a waiting list and a spot came open.  i completely understand, i really do, but i'm not going to lie and say that it didnt hurt any less.  i cried all day the day she told me.  i held emma every chance i could that day, and the next day and the next day.  her last day i didnt cry until they were out the door and well on their way.  they say the first is the hardest, but i'm not sure how it can get any easier!  i love spending my days with children and when you spend as many hours as a daycare provider does with children that arent yours, you grow attached.

anyway, this week has been okay so far, yesterday was my birthday (i'm 27. whoa!) and today was my grandpa's birthday.  its been 8 years since we've technically been able to celebrate together and i still miss him just as much as i ever have.  i'm not so sure that ever gets any easier either, to lose someone you love and look up to soo much.  i went back and forth this last week debating on whether or not i even wanted anyone to get together for my birthday (pregnancy hormones at their best!).  i'm glad i did, but i still had a sad moment for my grandpa, combined with a phone call from my grandma saying that she wasnt going to make it.  i told her i understood, i'm 27 years old, not a child anymore, but it still stung.  i wanted her here to celebrate with us.  and more than likely i'm internalizing things too much on that situation too!

i'm pretty sure this was taken at my grandparents.  that was my favorite swing and i think my grandma still has it.  i think the last time i was there she had taken it down but i think she still has it around there somewhere.  i loved getting "underdogs."

hug your grandpa, hug your grandma even if she drives you a little crazy sometimes, and hug your daycare provider.

(<3 se) can't decide if i had a breakdown or a breakthrough today.

i'm putting this here so i write about today later.

big news! :)

friday night dave and i had a hot date.  i guess it wasnt really that hot, just kid free.  we went and had dinner and then went to target alone!  with no screaming child!  :)  it was nice.  after that we decided to head up to our friends - Frank & Jessie's.  Shortly after we got there, Jess went to the bathroom and came out with a horrified look on her face.  She asked me to come to the other room where she handed me a pregnancy test!  there was a dark line and one other line that was very faint.  "IS that a LINE?"  I thought it was and she didnt have any more tests so off to the store we went.  I decided that I'd buy a box of tests too, just so we could compare lines because I knew I wasnt pregnant. 

We got back to her house (we almost took them at walmart and decided to go home instead) and we headed to the bathroom with our digital tests and plastic cups in tow.  she peed in her cup and got her test started while i peed in my cup and then i got my test started.  we're standing there in the bathroom, both watching the hour glass tick on our tests when all of a sudden... mine gave its result.  "PREGNANT."  I looked at Jess and said "OH MY GOD!"  to which she replied "Oh my god?"  and then i said again, "OH MY GOD!"  and then she looked at my test and screamed "OH MY GOD!!!"  we both started jumping up and down, laughing and squealing and hugging!  a few seconds after we calmed for a minute, we looked at hers and it said "NOT PREGNANT."  while i was sort of bummed that we wouldnt be pregnant together, we still did another rounds of OMG, jumping, laughing, squealing and hugging!  after we calmed down, we went out to tell the guys.  they both were ecstatic with the results!  :) 

i'm very excited!  i'm calling tomorrow to get an appointment with the OB.  if i have calculated everything right, my due date should be sometime in July of 2010. 

the exhaustion i had with addison hasnt kicked in yet, but i'm sure it will come.  for now, i'm off to bed! :)

today

today i found this in my shoe:

my sister

my sister stayed over night last night. she had clinicals today at the hospital, had to be there at 630AM! insane! i'm so glad she stayed here rather than drive from CR, pay for parking and have to wait around for the bus. having her here is much, much better.

i was thinking this morning about how she's grown and changed from "my little sister" to "my little but adult sister." i love that i have a good enough memory to remember when she gave herself that first haircut, the time that we caught her kissing a boy behind the couch, and the time that she stuck that carrot up her nose. now those, of course, are really memorable things, but what i like about memorable things is that i even remember how i felt then. i remember being so upset when she cut her hair, being a little scared catching her kissing that boy behind the couch and i remember thinking it was pretty funny when she stuck that carrot up her nose.

we've made a lot of memories, my sister and i. i am so so so glad that she is a positive part of my life, that i can be completely myself around her and not have to worry that she will be a fast fading friend. anyway i guess what i'm trying to spit out is that i love having my sister so much and i sometimes feel that i dont let her know how much i appreciate her. so i guess this is me saying - callie - i love you and appreciate you SO much! and i should also say thank you to my parents, who gave me a really, really great gift on june 8th, 1990.

we're alive!

goodbye summer, hello fall. seems like i forgot about the blog all summer and sure enough when it gets cold again, i remember. :) its probably not a matter of remembering, but a matter of having more time when its cold? who knows.

our summer was pretty good. not too exciting but exciting enough. in june we just had addy & mommy adventures - which i sometimes do miss. we went out to des moines this month for BFF Logan's birthday party. she had a really good time being his passenger in his power wheels. i'll never forget that big smile on her face! someday its possible that they'll go through the stage of hating their childhood memories together, and then maybe someday they'll reminice about them and OMG what if they fell in love?!

july brought us the 4th of july, which we spent at my parents house. we played dress up, she had a few truck rides. we didnt go to the parade or watch fireworks... shh, she's not old enough to beg to go yet! :) later on in july she peed in the big girl potty for the first time. i also started my own in home daycare this month. Emma joined us for our adventures!

august came and went. we went out to des moines to the state fair, we went to the amana colonies, and of course, Jeffrey's birthday! i cannot believe that he is 1 already. it seems like babies grow too fast for me! it seems like just yesterday he was a little guy... now he seems so grown up!

september. ah september! the month of various seasons! we dug out the coats this month, which in turn had addison asking for her hat. she didnt really need her stocking cap already but she insisted. which to be honest - i'm okay with this! i love the fact that she wants to wear something, and its even better when its something that will become a necessity as it gets colder out. we had labor day, a geocaching event and lots of playtime outside this month. Emma and Addison have a lot of fun together in our backyard! i'm so glad that i have it to share with her! we hid our first geocache this month which was an experience for us! you learn that not all people are as kind as you think they are, that your opinion is obviously not the same as others, and that sometimes you just have to take things with a grain of salt and move on!

and now onto october! its definitely fall outside and we've already had our "first" snow. it didnt stick of course but it was still snowing! Addy wasnt quite aware of what it was but the cats were very interested and couldnt stop looking out the windows! Addison, Emma and I have been on a few adventures so far this month. Early in the month we went to the mall on a rainy day and utilized their play equipment! both of the girls had a lot of fun. we also stopped at the childrens museum that day and got to see some fish and a turtle. Addy insisted that they were frogs! she kept yelling "ReREre!" at them - which is her little voice saying "RIBBIT!" it was pretty cute. Our weekends have been spent geocaching this month. it seems like perfect weather for it because its not too hot. we've been at a lot of parks with play equipment and i've been finding it a little hard to let go and let addy climb the big toys and go down the BIG slides! it amazes me what she is doing now versus a year ago. we've hidden 3 more caches this month, taking things not so personally is hard, but we havent had too many issues! lastly so far for this month: the pumpkin patch today! the first thing that happened after we got out of the van was Emma falling down in the mud! she was so excited that she tripped over her own feet. :( she was still excited after she fell though - she fell in MUD! fun! :)

and some cute sayings from Addison:
Mommy: Are you okay Addy!? Addison: I'M FINE!
Mommy: Say love you, pop-pop, bye bye! Addison: Lub you poppa buh bye!
Mommy: Who is that? (pointing to grandma) Addison: GR!
Mommy: Trick or Treat! Addison: Tick Teat!! (LOL)
And lastly... Addison: BUH BYE! BUH BYE!

october:

september:

august:


july:


june:

corn on the cob

i'm a little behind. seems like we've been going somewhere everyday! i love the company but miss being at home. :) the last two days we were able to see family from out of town. i love seeing them! carol is quite hilarious. :)

rabbits attacked my garden. i finally took major action when they ate off my beautiful spinach. i've updated the garden to having a fence all the way around, including the strawberry bed. i also obtained a bobble head owl from a friend and he's watching over intently. i also bought some spray, but so far its rained or been extremely windy since i got it so i havent done that yet. so far so good though, the ornery little thing will just sit outside our fence now, on his back feet, rubbing his hands together. i'm sure he's drooling too. jerk!

and now for what everyone looks forward to... pictures!

addy's first corn on the cob!

first 4 wheeler ride with pop pop

the owl!

the garden (again), story time & adventures with Myles, Frankie & Jeffrey!

we had a really great day today! got up early enough to check things out in the garden - its become my new obsession. after that we headed to our weekly story time with Melanie & Andrew. from there we headed up to CR to have a play date with our friends & cousins - Myles, Frankie & Jeffrey! addy out ate them all - eating two hot dogs! thats definitely my girl! :) unfortunately i forgot to take pictures this time of our play date, so you're left with pix from the garden and story time today.

and thanks to steph who helped me identify some things that were growing in the garden! i felt a lot more comfortable weeding when i knew what were weeds! :)

story time! shakin' her sillies out!

this shed will be the bane of my existence.

my birdy house!

onions

spinach

carrots

romaine lettuce

cilantro!

cucumbers i think!

or is it zuchinni?

my favorite.

oregano

new: green peppers

potatoes

tomatoes

the necklace.

i bought a necklace yesterday that is a heart that says "SOAR" on it. it was between that and "FAITH." I chose soar because I have been soaring... and hope that there isnt some wall ...or some REALLY clean window that i'm going to hit eventually.

and i swear thats it for some mushy, serious entry. :)

crumb cake, addy meets ava, & my goofy kid

the most beautiful crumb cake i've ever seen! and i made it!

Addy met her cousin Ava. She loves her!

And my goofy kid. She's making this a habit too, by the way. I'm thinking of nicknaming her Beavis.

my garden is growing! & i ate the strawberry! :)

carrots?

spinach?

i'm thinking this is cucumber or squash or maybe zucchini (sp?)


i know this is potatoes!

if you know what anything is besides the strawberry, let me know! because i'm not completely sure. :)

mother's day

i had a great mothers day! we were able to trade off our vehicle for a mini-van! so far we're loving every minute of it. its amazing how a bigger car can suddenly make you feel like a soccer mom! :)

we spent mothers day morning eating donuts and reading the sunday paper. while reading the paper, we found coupons for bagels! we decided that it might also be a nice surprise to my mom if we arrived to their house early instead of always being late! we got ready and went to brueggers that was conveniently located by the flower shop. what luck! after we stopped and got some flowers, we headed to my mom & dads house. we surprised them alright! mom was just getting out of the shower and dad hadnt made it there yet.

once they were done getting ready, my mom gave me the most amazing card. my sister also surprised me with a card! soon after exchanging gifts, we started with lunch. dad made wild turkey bacon wrapped nuggets, wings and legs, etc. on the grill. it was delicious! we also had fresh asparagas, morels, and potatoe steak fries that dave put together for us. i stuffed myself and then took a glorious nap.

soon after my nap, we headed out to Dave's aunt Sheila's house. here was more food and more great moms! we were able to see Grandma Julie and Nanny, and lots of other family. Addy had lots of fun with her cousins Raelynn & Josiah.

after our gathering at Sheila's, we headed home to bed. all in all, it was a wonderful day with all of my family!

The front of my beautiful card!

and the inside. :)

adventures with linus & crina

this week has been an excellent week so far. busy but definitely excellent! christina and logan came to visit. we had a great night of playing, a disappointing trip to kalona, but then a good trip to kalona on wednesday! we'll definitely always remember that everything is closed on Tuesdays. what a weird day to be closed! here are some pix of our adventures.

my purchases at kalona!

crina & i

the only picture of them both looking at the camera! haha!

1st cloth diaper & my pretty tree in the front yard.

found one version of it...12/05/2007

I didn't have to be induced on Wednesday! they did break my water but she came on her own. i was dialated to 4 when we got there at 730, by noon i was 6 & had the epidural at that point! and by 2 or so i was fully dialated. they told me at that point i could do small pushes but they didn't want me to push too hard because her heartbeat was going down every time i pushed. soon the doc came in and checked things & said he was going to have to go do a csection & was calling my doc to come over from mercy...
the doc went to call him & then came back to check again & said "there's no time, i see the head, we're having a baby!" and it was complete chaos from there! i heard the nurse call for back up, they got my feet in the stirrups, meanwhile my mom had come into check on me right before that & she was asking if i wanted her to stay or go & i had her stay for the birth. i was so thankful to have my mom and dave there! i pushed for a total of 6 minutes and then she was here! it was absolutely amazing. i didn't get to hold her at first because she did have her cord around her neck - not tight, but still wrapped around. i'm glad that everything went as fast as it did though - they had talked like i would be pushing for hours!
things after went pretty well. i was losing a lot of blood & had spiked a fever so i had to keep my iv in and keep antibiotics going & had to take the pills to help stop the bleeding. i feel a lot better now!

my baby girl!

our first family photo

nothin' worse!

nothing worse than a sick baby. she's got a runny nose & is sneezing, chewin' on her bink, and screams almost every time i lay her down, but still went to bed willingly tonight. i feel awful for her and i would much rather be sick than her! maybe then i wouldnt have to go to the dentist today at 10:15a. i do wonder if she's got some teeth coming in. i'm sure that hurts worse than a shot of novocaine.

i guess the only "good" thing about her being sick is that she seems to enjoy some snuggle time, which i love! and i love it when i pat her on the back, she pats me on the shoulder. tonight she had her arms stretched so far across my chest. i moved just a bit and she reached up and squeezed me so tight. i feel so bad for my girl! but that little squeeze felt so good!

she's still felt good enough to keep playing during the day. we have spent a lot of time outside the past 2 days and i'm so grateful for it! she loves playing in her sandbox, then going from there to her house & then to her car... which is my hint to push her around the yard as she makes little car noises. we hit the gas station (the patio area), make a stop by the picnic table (i'm painting that this week, i swear!) and then back to her house. i think the best part is the car noises. how do kids know this stuff? they obviously get a manual and we don't!

oh and i did get my tragus pierced. now for the tattoo! :) i am not so sure why i was such a wus about the piercing, i mean i did push a human being out of my crotch not so long ago. maybe it the was the contractions that have told my body to not cause any pain because that was pain that just kept coming! and that i wasnt quite prepared for... you always hear its bad, but i'm telling you its worse than what they say. maybe sometime i'll have to post addison's birth story.

for now, i'm getting some sleep while i can!

one of april and the may 1st sammich

This is what Addison thinks of Dora & her new potty chair!

the sammich!

and again...

and one from april. blogger didnt put them in the right order.