Tuesday, December 1, 2009

yeah... about that...

i think sarah said it best.  i internalize things!  i'm workin on it, i swear! 

daycare is a hard job.  i read something once in advice for parents of children that are in daycare.  its here: http://www.haccpn.org/page.php?content=parents .  It basically says "have you hugged your caregiver today?"  it talks about a few things, but some are the most obvious.  pay on time, be appreciative, understand that they just might love your child almost as much as you do.  the entire section is great for anyone to read if they have children in daycare or if they're a daycare provider. 

anyway, back to me.  (since this is my blog)  i lost my first daycare baby.  no, she didnt pass away.  i've been watching emma since julyish when i first started this business, and i'll admit that i love her almost as much as i love addy.  i loved watching her grow and change, say new words.  i loved everything about her, everything that she was like addy and i appreciated everything that wasnt like addy.  i loved that she was still a little dependent and would bring her frustrations to me rather than throw herself on the floor (like addy).  i loved that she would still snuggle at nap time and that she still thought it was funny when i honked her nose!  anyway, her momma works at a daycare.  i always wondered why she didnt go there, but loved that her mom picked me.  as it turns out she was on a waiting list and a spot came open.  i completely understand, i really do, but i'm not going to lie and say that it didnt hurt any less.  i cried all day the day she told me.  i held emma every chance i could that day, and the next day and the next day.  her last day i didnt cry until they were out the door and well on their way.  they say the first is the hardest, but i'm not sure how it can get any easier!  i love spending my days with children and when you spend as many hours as a daycare provider does with children that arent yours, you grow attached.

anyway, this week has been okay so far, yesterday was my birthday (i'm 27. whoa!) and today was my grandpa's birthday.  its been 8 years since we've technically been able to celebrate together and i still miss him just as much as i ever have.  i'm not so sure that ever gets any easier either, to lose someone you love and look up to soo much.  i went back and forth this last week debating on whether or not i even wanted anyone to get together for my birthday (pregnancy hormones at their best!).  i'm glad i did, but i still had a sad moment for my grandpa, combined with a phone call from my grandma saying that she wasnt going to make it.  i told her i understood, i'm 27 years old, not a child anymore, but it still stung.  i wanted her here to celebrate with us.  and more than likely i'm internalizing things too much on that situation too!

i'm pretty sure this was taken at my grandparents.  that was my favorite swing and i think my grandma still has it.  i think the last time i was there she had taken it down but i think she still has it around there somewhere.  i loved getting "underdogs."

hug your grandpa, hug your grandma even if she drives you a little crazy sometimes, and hug your daycare provider.

1 comment:

  1. this was a really sweet blog. i'm sorry about emma, i hope it gets better. love the picture of you, it looks a lot like addy!